Discipline! Yep, I’ve got that one covered. In fact, sometimes my sense of Discipline gets distorted and can become a form of obsession. You see, I’d classify myself as Type A personality, with a drive to accomplish things. I’m a “Do-er.” I’m not a sit on the sidelines kind of person. I make lists, I check off my accomplishments and I make more lists, etc.
You get the picture. My sense of discipline cascades over all the parts of my life including my sense of spirituality, personal life, professional life and so on. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not rigid, well not usually. I value the importance of Flexibility and practice it often but I can also be very focused and goal oriented. Now, ordinarily, these characteristics work well for me but not always.
In reflecting on how Discipline effects my life, I started thinking about my ‘healthy’ habits of exercise, meditation and the like. These are all things I’m Disciplined about practicing. Now, typically, I meditate most mornings and I like to get some form of exercise daily. Doing those things really just help me to feel better! So, you’d say these are really good things and I’d agree with you. However, I’ve noticed that my sense of Duty and Discipline sometime effect the purity of the activity. Sometimes, I feel obligated to do those ‘healthy’ things because my sense of Discipline and desire to be the best I can be drive my behavior rather than a sincere passion for the activity. Honestly, as much as I love exercising or meditating, I don’t want to do it every day. Sometimes, I just need a break. So, I realized that while I’m Disciplined about “Do-ing” a behavior or activity, I’m not always the best about practicing “Be-ing” or practicing the Discipline of not checking things off my list. But, I’m trying. I’m aware now that my TRUTH is about Balance, not about being perfect. If I’m not bringing my whole self, my whole Heart to whatever it is I’m doing, because I WANT to do it, then I’m not being TRUE to myself. In a way, not doing is a huge accomplishment for me. It forces to me to be more present and to enjoy the moment more. I can stop and smell the roses but I’ll usually do that while I’m accomplishing a task. I recognize that I can be as disciplined about action as I can about in-action. In fact, I think I need to do this. To support this, the universe has been sending me messages about the importance of Recovery as an integral part of exercise. Let’s be clear, I’m NOT a gym rat and I’m NOT obsessive about exercise. However, I do really value the importance of getting some sort of regular exercise. This past year, my exercise habits have changed because I injured a tendon in my left wrist. So, I’ve had this growing sense of guilt that my workouts aren’t as intense as they used to be and believe me, my workouts were never that intense. But, I feel bad that I haven’t been able to do the things I used to do. So, I’ve had to change. I always try to be open to the messages the Universe shares with me and came across some information recently on the importance of Recovery in exercise. Basically, what I’m starting to learn is that many people, myself included, neglect the importance of proper Recovery or Down Time as a part of exercise. Yep, Guilty! So, I’ve been trying to be more gentle in my thinking, more gentle in my approach to exercise and Recovery and generally more gentle in my approach to life and “To Do” lists. Honestly, this is very freeing. I’m mean really, it’s okay to not exercise as much or accomplish as much…I know this, really I do! Granted, I’ve not mastered this new art but I’m beginning to appreciate the value of “Be-ing” more with every moment. Hopefully, if you’re a “Do-er” like me, you’ll find a little bit of peace in these words and become more Disciplined about “Be-ing.” Trust me, it’s okay to not be perfect. It’s okay to really sit still, enjoy the view and give yourself permission to rest. It’s okay to “BE!”